Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider (Warren Zeyvon parody)

Roland was a warrior
From the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson Gun for hire
Fighting to be done

The deal was made in Denmark
On a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra
To join the bloody fray

Through '66 and 7
They fought the Congo War
With their fingers on their triggers
Knee-deep in gore

The days and nights they battled
The Bantu to their Knees
They killed to earn their living
And to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson Gunner

Roland the Thompson Gunner

His comrades fought beside him
Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson Gunners
Roland was the best

So the CIA decided
They wanted Roland dead
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen
Blew off Roland's Head

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
(Time Time Time for another week of war)

Norway's bravest son
(Time stands still for Roland til he evens up the score)

They can still see his headless body
Stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson Gun

In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson Gun

Roland searched the continent
For the man who'd done him in
He found him in Mombassa
In a bar room drinkin' Gin

Roland aimed his Thompson Gun
He didn't say a word
But he blew Van Owen's body
From there to Johanasburg.

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
(Talkin about the man)

Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

The eternal Thompson Gunner
Still wanderin through the night
Now it's ten years later
But he still keeps up the fight

In Ireland, In Lebanon
In Palastine and Berkley

Patty Hurst
Heard the burst
Of Roland's Thompson Gun
And bought it.

Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider

Roland was A soldier
From ATLAS' Crimson Lance
With his Scorpio Turret for hire
And His Mercenary stance.

The deal was made in Fyrestone
At a bus stop, dry brown
He talked to good old Clappy
And then he saved the Town

Through Crimson Lance and Bandit
The point of mercy, moot
His finger on the trigger
Knee deep in loot

For days and nights he battled
Looting those he'd slain
Turning the sands all red
On a planet without rain

Roland the Crimson Raider

Roland the Crimson Raider

He stood beside the others
Sweet Lilith and the rest
But of the Crimson Raiders
Roland was the Best

So Hyperion decided
That they wanted Roland whacked
So that Handsome dirtbag
Shot him in the back

Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider
(Time Time Time for another week of war)

Pandora's bravest son
(Time stands still for Roland til he evens up the score)

They can still see his heartless body
Stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's turret gun

In the muzzle flash of Roland's turret gun

Roland searched the planet
For the man who'd done him in
He found him in Hero's Pass
With that arrogant plastic grin

Roland tossed his turret gun
He did not feel at fault
And he avenged his death and others
In the heart of the Warrior's Vault

Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider

Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider

Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider
(Talkin about the man)

Roland the Heartless Crimson Raider

The Eternal Crimson Raider
Still fighting through the night
Four DLC's later
And he still keeps up the fight

In Scarlet's, In Mr. Torgue's
In Hammerlock's, In Tina's
Handsome Jack
Was Counter-Whacked
By Roland's turret gun
And bought it